A Wonder of God's Grace.

It is an absolute miracle that I, a boy who turned his back on religion and a former atheist, ever became a "Christian." It was not something I ever searched for or wanted for myself. In fact, I rejected it, ran from it, hid myself from it, and attempted to avoid God and all talk of God at all costs; blocking out all concepts and ideas of Him in my mind whenever a conversation with a "believer" would present itself; ignoring anything and everything that had to do with Christianity, and yet He still managed to overcome all of my disbelief, every bit of my hatred, and my rebellious shouts against His existence by stripping me of every silly argument, cutting me off from every form of worldly pleasure so that nothing could please me but would only reinforce my longing for something of a different sort, and by removing my thoughts of comfort and safety by my own means of self-sufficiency, He showed me what, or better, who, I really am. I was left barren, empty, discontent, helpless, hopeless, and alone. It was then, that I saw Him for the first time. And when I looked at Him, I saw my own brokenness, my own despair, my own weakness, my own inadequacy, my own heart in all its twisted and warped deceitfulness, and all of the destructive and corrupt practices that I had been living in, that had been controlling me, that I had been submitting to; I saw them as they truly were. I felt the weight of my sin, and it drove me to tears and moved my heart to utter grief. In the anguish of my condition, I cried out for mercy! At that moment, I knew that a most glorious Savior had come to rescue me, to save me from myself, to free me from a life of bondage. Apart from God we are left to corruption. Apart from God we are without hope. Apart from God we are without life. But it was then, and ever since then, that I have begun to know a most loving, holy, just, and gracious Father. Thank you Lord for both your mercy and grace! You have given me the very thing I do not deserve, the very thing that I could not deserve even if I tried, and although I at one point had tried, it was my effort that kept me from receiving from your hands true life. Thank you.